(In no particular order)
1:Dummy-Portishead (triphop)
2:Illmatic-Nas ('90s gangsta/conscious rap) side note: most white kids say this genre is the only "real" rap. I disagree, but I just think it was fantastic and speaks of real experience. Plus, he raps about beepers!
3:Transatlanticism-Death Cab for Cutie (indie)
4:Either/Or-Elliot Smith (folk)
5:The Hazards of Love-The Decemberists (rock opera/folk rock)
6:Badmotorfinger-Soundgarden (grunge)
7:The Art of Drowning-AFI (horror punk)
8:Catching Tales-Jamie Cullum (jazz)
9:Whatever and Ever, Amen-Ben Folds Five ('90s adult contemporary)
10:Bang Bang-Dispatch (indie jam band)
11:The Places That You've Come to Fear the Most-Dashboard Confessional (emo)
Each album has significant meaning to who I am today. Musically, I am diverse (like everyone is) and I have strong examples from most represented genres. But these, these each have a time period of my life, a feeling, a relationship, an experience, or a thought change associated with it. I picked 11 because after much debate, I figured I'd be honest and admit that I loved Dashboard in the early '00s. I never had bangs or tried to become emo, but I loved the lyrics at the time and I know the songs played a major roll. I still believe that beatnik became hippie which became intellectual which became emo and then became hipster. Hipsters love Dashboard, they just will never admit it. If I picked songs, it would probably be a list like 50 deep. That's probably what I'll write next. Top 50 songs.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sh*t My Grandma Says
Talking with my grandmother is hard work. She's great and all, but it's quite a task. Her need for Political Correction and ideals has become slightly hypocritical and convoluted. She'll bring up points in an argument that are either invalid or out of left field. Regardless, she will make herself look more accepting than you and try and make you feel like you're dumb for not thinking in her infallibly correct ideals. Black people are all nice, upstanding citizens and none of them are gangsters because that's racist. All illegal immigrants are here to work for their children's future, and to suggest a portion are here to run drugs is horrendous. Yet smokers are the evil people, and republicans are dimwits who have zero intelligence (I hope you see some inconsistency here). To sum it all up, she is full of White Guilt.
"What did you see at the zoo today?" She asked my little cousin Jackson.
"Mexicans." We had just finished remarking how it was Mexican day at the zoo. She huffed as if she had just heard someone throw 'nigger' at her face.
"Whose child is this?"
"Jefferey's." My uncle answers, some what condescendingly.
"Yeah...exactly" She retorts. At this point, I don't know if I felt the need to defend my absent father or just be a little shit.
"What is the problem? I stated the fact that there were Mexicans at the zoo today. Why are you turning 'Mexican' into a negative connotation, grandma?"
Holy fuck, her eyes said as she realized she was losing ground. Quick, what is she to do? How can she reply to make herself the better person? She could take the obvious route and point out that I was being racist for humor; she could say how I am just being annoying and watch my tone; she could also say something completely random. Well I wouldn't be writing this if she hadn't chose the third route. Be warned: rationality will be lost here.
She holds up her finger to prove physically that her studious and well learned point will rock my face off.
"Why didn't you say you saw a bunch of Catholics?"
Wow, grandma. I don't know how to even respond to this. Thank god I've taken some logic class at Chandler-Gilbert Community College, or else I wouldn't be able to answer your thought out and deeply insightful reply.
"Because not all Mexicans are Catholics. Again with the stereotypes, Grandma . . ." (if you can read my sarcasm here, then you are better at reading it than she is face to face)
"No, because they're mostly Mormon." Says the matriarch of the family.
"How. . . wha. . . I don't even know how that relates to saying they saw some Mexicans at the zoo. It's Arizona." At this point, I've turned my back to her to continue cleaning the lime build up on the pool. I am trying my best to not laugh at her, but everyone stops caring as soon as Jackson (the baby) starts to dip my uncle's putter into the water.
If you've seen The Office, you may recognize a similar interchange between Michael Scott and Oscar. Michael tells his subordinate not to call Oscar Mexican because it is racist. Oscar asks why, since he is actually Mexican. In Michael's Political Correctness, he outs his own prejudices; hilariously. I wish I could find the clip to show you. Arguing with her is fun for me. I try to do everything possible sometimes to point out logical errors in her ideas, but she keeps on coming (she's a pescatarian, by choice of morals-not health, for Christ's sake, this is for another blog post about vegetarianism). It is made more fun by my Grandma's incredible ability to be critical of everyone else's life choices. Seriously, debating her is as fun as watching To Catch A Predator.
PS: I love my grandmother very much. She is wonderful and has done numerous things for me without hesitation. Despite my writings about her, she is a very smart woman. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks, I guess. It is purely a game I play with myself to see how she thinks and operates. She is a study all her own. Really, I cannot put into words how amazing my grandma is to me and our family. We'd have been lost long ago without her leadership.
"What did you see at the zoo today?" She asked my little cousin Jackson.
"Mexicans." We had just finished remarking how it was Mexican day at the zoo. She huffed as if she had just heard someone throw 'nigger' at her face.
"Whose child is this?"
"Jefferey's." My uncle answers, some what condescendingly.
"Yeah...exactly" She retorts. At this point, I don't know if I felt the need to defend my absent father or just be a little shit.
"What is the problem? I stated the fact that there were Mexicans at the zoo today. Why are you turning 'Mexican' into a negative connotation, grandma?"
Holy fuck, her eyes said as she realized she was losing ground. Quick, what is she to do? How can she reply to make herself the better person? She could take the obvious route and point out that I was being racist for humor; she could say how I am just being annoying and watch my tone; she could also say something completely random. Well I wouldn't be writing this if she hadn't chose the third route. Be warned: rationality will be lost here.
She holds up her finger to prove physically that her studious and well learned point will rock my face off.
"Why didn't you say you saw a bunch of Catholics?"
Wow, grandma. I don't know how to even respond to this. Thank god I've taken some logic class at Chandler-Gilbert Community College, or else I wouldn't be able to answer your thought out and deeply insightful reply.
"Because not all Mexicans are Catholics. Again with the stereotypes, Grandma . . ." (if you can read my sarcasm here, then you are better at reading it than she is face to face)
"No, because they're mostly Mormon." Says the matriarch of the family.
"How. . . wha. . . I don't even know how that relates to saying they saw some Mexicans at the zoo. It's Arizona." At this point, I've turned my back to her to continue cleaning the lime build up on the pool. I am trying my best to not laugh at her, but everyone stops caring as soon as Jackson (the baby) starts to dip my uncle's putter into the water.
If you've seen The Office, you may recognize a similar interchange between Michael Scott and Oscar. Michael tells his subordinate not to call Oscar Mexican because it is racist. Oscar asks why, since he is actually Mexican. In Michael's Political Correctness, he outs his own prejudices; hilariously. I wish I could find the clip to show you. Arguing with her is fun for me. I try to do everything possible sometimes to point out logical errors in her ideas, but she keeps on coming (
PS: I love my grandmother very much. She is wonderful and has done numerous things for me without hesitation. Despite my writings about her, she is a very smart woman. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks, I guess. It is purely a game I play with myself to see how she thinks and operates. She is a study all her own. Really, I cannot put into words how amazing my grandma is to me and our family. We'd have been lost long ago without her leadership.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
I have some weird habits
I (like everyone) have some odd habits. Some of you know them and some don't. But I figured I'd put some down for lack of a better topic.
1: When in private, I have a need to vocally announce to no one in particular that I have farted.
2: Unless I am in Oregon, I cannot drink the tap water anywhere. Well, Scotland had good water.
3: I have to touch things an even amount of times. This requires more explanation. If I accidentally tap my right elbow against a wall, I have to touch my left elbow against a wall. you can replace "wall" with another object and you can also replace "elbow" with any other part of me.
4: Sometimes, I feel the need to explain things out loud when I'm alone. I've been told this isn't anything big, it's just an over active social complex when I'm alone (as in I want to be around other people, so I just create some. Typical of only children).
5: I never step on cracks or lines on the sidewalk.
6: I speed up to stop at red lights.
7: I use far too much toilet paper.
8: I do not have one best friend, but I have many great friends. (in years to come it will be hard to pick a best man)
9: I used to never do homework and just get drunk in high school. Now that I'm in college, people who don't do their homework annoy me extremely-I think it's because it costs money now, so it seems pointless.
10: Speaking of college, I hold no stock in the perceived importance of going to a University. I'm only doing it because it's free for me right now.
11: I'm super proud of what I've done in the Marines and what my unit (314) did in Iraq, but I really hate other veterans my age almost wholeheartedly.
12: I seem to be the only person in my family that puts their silverware face down in the dishwasher. I do not understand this.
13: If I'm wearing tube socks at home, sometimes I will pull them halfway off my feet and let them dangle, like a Dr. Seuss shoe.
14: My dad and I discovered the genius of Wheat Thins and Philadelphia Cream Cheese by accident when I was 14. I still eat this combo constantly. This is one of my favorite things my dad taught me.
15: I love dips. With bread, chips, other assorted foods, I just love dip. It is my favorite thing to eat. especially 7 layered-dip.
16: If I don't swallow a pill fully or if I brush my tongue too far back, I will almost assuredly vomit. My gag reflex is turrible, just turrible.
17: When I was younger, my mom told me you were only ticklish until you lost your virginity. I believed it, but remained ticklish after I lost it. I am still very ticklish.
18: I literally kicked my girlfriend in the face and then called her a whore in the span of three minutes. We're still together.
19: I played with my plastic army men until I was like, 13. Way too old to be that immature.
20: I have a problem of buying the top notch thing of whatever I want. Even though I cannot afford it sometimes. It must be the best.
What odd/strange things do you do?
1: When in private, I have a need to vocally announce to no one in particular that I have farted.
2: Unless I am in Oregon, I cannot drink the tap water anywhere. Well, Scotland had good water.
3: I have to touch things an even amount of times. This requires more explanation. If I accidentally tap my right elbow against a wall, I have to touch my left elbow against a wall. you can replace "wall" with another object and you can also replace "elbow" with any other part of me.
4: Sometimes, I feel the need to explain things out loud when I'm alone. I've been told this isn't anything big, it's just an over active social complex when I'm alone (as in I want to be around other people, so I just create some. Typical of only children).
5: I never step on cracks or lines on the sidewalk.
6: I speed up to stop at red lights.
7: I use far too much toilet paper.
8: I do not have one best friend, but I have many great friends. (in years to come it will be hard to pick a best man)
9: I used to never do homework and just get drunk in high school. Now that I'm in college, people who don't do their homework annoy me extremely-I think it's because it costs money now, so it seems pointless.
10: Speaking of college, I hold no stock in the perceived importance of going to a University. I'm only doing it because it's free for me right now.
11: I'm super proud of what I've done in the Marines and what my unit (314) did in Iraq, but I really hate other veterans my age almost wholeheartedly.
12: I seem to be the only person in my family that puts their silverware face down in the dishwasher. I do not understand this.
13: If I'm wearing tube socks at home, sometimes I will pull them halfway off my feet and let them dangle, like a Dr. Seuss shoe.
14: My dad and I discovered the genius of Wheat Thins and Philadelphia Cream Cheese by accident when I was 14. I still eat this combo constantly. This is one of my favorite things my dad taught me.
15: I love dips. With bread, chips, other assorted foods, I just love dip. It is my favorite thing to eat. especially 7 layered-dip.
16: If I don't swallow a pill fully or if I brush my tongue too far back, I will almost assuredly vomit. My gag reflex is turrible, just turrible.
17: When I was younger, my mom told me you were only ticklish until you lost your virginity. I believed it, but remained ticklish after I lost it. I am still very ticklish.
18: I literally kicked my girlfriend in the face and then called her a whore in the span of three minutes. We're still together.
19: I played with my plastic army men until I was like, 13. Way too old to be that immature.
20: I have a problem of buying the top notch thing of whatever I want. Even though I cannot afford it sometimes. It must be the best.
What odd/strange things do you do?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tourists in a Music Video
Death Cab for Cutie has been known to be innovators in the music scene for many years. A significant number of people have at least one song of the iconic underground band. Now the successfully experimental band has done it again-with a streamed live, scripted, one take (as in no chances to re-shoot on mistakes) music video for their first single, “You Are A Tourist” off of their new album Codes and Keys.
To put it into proper perspective, this has never been done before. Previously, artists have made live videos but they were recorded at a live show. One other artist, Michael Jackson, has made a video that was sung and performed live, but the video wasn't one take. The song was called “Rock With You” and it has since been redubbed. It gave a greater appreciation to Death Cab's video to have known about it because, littered throughout the performance were allusions to this. Director Tim Nikashi put together a phenomenal video that he would be proud to stamp his name on.
It started out with a countdown. The house lights dimmed and the only thing visible were 9 green triangles in the background that would play a part later. Through a wall of smoke, Ben Gibbard (lead singer) walked towards the camera. He couldn't help but grin as he knew the importance of the art they had just begun. The first line came slightly off sync as Gibbard tried to catch it right at the exact moment of entry but was back on track-and remained that way-for the rest of the performance. There were camera pans and switches that made it more apparent, oddly enough, that it wasn't a completely reworked piece. Soon into it, Nick Harmer (bassist) strutted his stuff hilariously across a raised platform in front of three separately colored rooms where actors did something that no one paid attention to, surely. Harmer stole the show with his antics, exaggerated movements and humorous faces. Chris Walla (lead guitar) was almost non-existent and kicked off the next phase of the video by playing the keys.
The entire time watching the video you couldn't help but think about how magical it was when they were starting out. The video, in its simple ways was endearing of the times that went. It was great to see the band stick to its roots when it has still grown musically out of the trappings of hipsterdom and into creative sounds. They used christmas lights to line the stages and their instruments. They had light up suits that the writer found awesome and want one extremely bad. One hopes that the rest of Death Cab's videos are done this way because it was a subtle reminder that they still knew what audience they had. Bohemia wouldn't be upset by this aspect and you knew watching that you were witness to a possibly exciting trend in music videos.
Symbolism was apparent throughout. In the section of the song that talks about leaving home, the camera hovered over a large intersection where one man turned away from the path. There was a large area of shaped lights that looked like a kaleidoscope only when women danced and rolled around to mimic the motion. It was a really neat trick they used to make the video more complex in its choreography (which made it all the more impressive when they actually pulled it off without any mistakes). When it was over, and confetti was all over the performers, they all got together stage front to say thank you a la Saturday Night Live. It was touching as the band cared more to thank the people behind the scenes and the dancers more than talk about how hard it was for them.
It was a fantastic video and will be talked about for a long time. Certainly good press for Death Cab's latest album.
The video for “You Are A Tourist” is now on YouTube in Death Cab For Cutie's official page. The single is currently available for purchase on the iTunes store and the Android app store for mobile downloads. The album, “Codes and Keys” hits stores May 31st.
The video for “You Are A Tourist” is now on YouTube in Death Cab For Cutie's official page. The single is currently available for purchase on the iTunes store and the Android app store for mobile downloads. The album, “Codes and Keys” hits stores May 31st.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The most embarrassing story I've told so far
How far would you go to not have sex? That's right, I said to not have sex. Most women can just say they're too tired or have a headache or that they're on their period or that they don't want it in the butt that particular night, but for men it is quite different. Actually, it's probably not but mine was a special case.
I was in March Air Reserve Base in Riverside, California from the summer of '07 till the spring of '08. I was TAD (Temporary Additional Duty) to the Red Patchers there and was in charge of the logistical support of the deploying units. It was a lot of work and I was by myself. I was a Lance Corporal at the time and I had a Corporal Goodman with me who was great, but he delegated many of the tasks to me, to include buying the Sopranos DVDs that he mooched off of me. (He was a great guy, don't get me wrong, and a good Marine.)
When we weren't working odd hours and a lot of them, we partied really, really hard. Harder than Marines should sometimes. I won't go into details, but it was a great time. One of the guys there, a black guy from Arkansas whose name I'm forgetting (he had a marvel comics sleeve and was one of my best friends there) took me out one night with the rest of the gang to a bar next to the college. I believe it was called The Ristorante, or the Cafe or something that didn't sound like a bar. We went out exclusively on Wednesdays: Ladies Night.
Now those that remember, I was dating my ex at the time and was faithful so I just went for the drinking. One night, we went out and Marvel (black guy's name for this story) spotted a chick that was hot for the IE but basically within his standards. Problem was she had a grenade of a friend. I, being the designated wingman for the night had to play along.
My date wasn't particularly ugly. Ok yeah, she was ugly. Not really a good face and she was fat. But not the kind of fat you could work with, or that kind of fat girl you keep on the side that you don't tell anyone about because you're embarrassed about being with her, she was gargantuan. About 5'6" and easily over 300lbs. She even waddled. I turned around and shot Marvel a look, to which he replied that he'd buy me one of those extra large Jack Daniel's bottles if I played a long. Anytime you put JD in front of me, I comply so I didn't protest. We danced and then they went home early because they had work in the morning but they promised Marvel they would meet us the next day.
When the afternoon came, we met them at the ABC bowling alley near the base. All of the Red Patchers had heard about my whale date and had showed up en masse to see her. When she stomped in, the whole place erupted into laughter at me. I knew it, but I didn't care because the next night I would be so fucking hammered for free. After three pitchers of beer and 4 games bowled, me and Marvel took our women home to our hotel on base. My room was right by the stairs and Marvel's was across the catwalk a bit. The whole ride home I didn't want to go to my room. I wanted to do anything to stall the eventual sex. We got into our rooms and I decided a movie would be a fantastic idea to delay the physical activities. So I put on the worst movie I had, "Night at the Museum."
After a bit, she started feeling me up and kissing me on my neck. I panicked, hoping my fidelity was no longer ruined, and excused myself to the bathroom. In there, I did the only thing I could think of. We couldn't have sex if I was unable to. Genius idea.
(I'm about to talk about my penis for a sec, so if you don't want to read about it, skip this paragraph but the story will be lost if you do)
I reached down into my pants and, using my middle finger, I pushed the tip of my dick into itself (like all bored guys have done sometime in their adolescents) and using my snug jeans, kept in in place. It wasn't all the way tucked in, only half way but seeing as how I'm circumcised, it was difficult to keep it in place.
Walking out, I saw she had taken off her clothes and was completely naked on my bed, which seemed to strain at her weight. If anything, I did this to spare my bed a crushing fate. I gave her a worried and sad look and said, "I can't do this."
"What do you mean you can't? You're hot and I'm ready to fuck, what else is there?" she gasped. I'm sure she thought it had something to do with her weight and I felt sorry for her. I didn't want to destroy her self confidence but I wasn't going to cheat on Grace.
"I...I'm a eunuch." I sold it so well I should've gotten an Oscar.
"You're joking."
"I wish I was, look it's really embarrassing ok, I like you and you're hot (lie) but I just can't have sex. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell the guys. Please tell them we had sex, you can even say it was bad and I was terrible, I just really can't do it."
"It's alright, please can we just ignore it? I'm sorry but we're not doing anything tonight."
I sold it so well that she lied to her friend and told them that we fucked and I was fantastic. She felt sorry for me and I knew that my plan succeeded. I took some heat for it but I didn't break my promise to my long-distance woman. I immediately called Garrett, my best friend and told him. He laughed and complemented me on my diversion.
I didn't tell the Red Patchers this because I knew they would only think I was lying about fucking a fatty, but I think this story is more embarrassing than going hogging, which all men have. I never broke my fidelity and now have this story to write on this blog. I hope you've enjoyed it.
I was in March Air Reserve Base in Riverside, California from the summer of '07 till the spring of '08. I was TAD (Temporary Additional Duty) to the Red Patchers there and was in charge of the logistical support of the deploying units. It was a lot of work and I was by myself. I was a Lance Corporal at the time and I had a Corporal Goodman with me who was great, but he delegated many of the tasks to me, to include buying the Sopranos DVDs that he mooched off of me. (He was a great guy, don't get me wrong, and a good Marine.)
When we weren't working odd hours and a lot of them, we partied really, really hard. Harder than Marines should sometimes. I won't go into details, but it was a great time. One of the guys there, a black guy from Arkansas whose name I'm forgetting (he had a marvel comics sleeve and was one of my best friends there) took me out one night with the rest of the gang to a bar next to the college. I believe it was called The Ristorante, or the Cafe or something that didn't sound like a bar. We went out exclusively on Wednesdays: Ladies Night.
Now those that remember, I was dating my ex at the time and was faithful so I just went for the drinking. One night, we went out and Marvel (black guy's name for this story) spotted a chick that was hot for the IE but basically within his standards. Problem was she had a grenade of a friend. I, being the designated wingman for the night had to play along.
My date wasn't particularly ugly. Ok yeah, she was ugly. Not really a good face and she was fat. But not the kind of fat you could work with, or that kind of fat girl you keep on the side that you don't tell anyone about because you're embarrassed about being with her, she was gargantuan. About 5'6" and easily over 300lbs. She even waddled. I turned around and shot Marvel a look, to which he replied that he'd buy me one of those extra large Jack Daniel's bottles if I played a long. Anytime you put JD in front of me, I comply so I didn't protest. We danced and then they went home early because they had work in the morning but they promised Marvel they would meet us the next day.
When the afternoon came, we met them at the ABC bowling alley near the base. All of the Red Patchers had heard about my whale date and had showed up en masse to see her. When she stomped in, the whole place erupted into laughter at me. I knew it, but I didn't care because the next night I would be so fucking hammered for free. After three pitchers of beer and 4 games bowled, me and Marvel took our women home to our hotel on base. My room was right by the stairs and Marvel's was across the catwalk a bit. The whole ride home I didn't want to go to my room. I wanted to do anything to stall the eventual sex. We got into our rooms and I decided a movie would be a fantastic idea to delay the physical activities. So I put on the worst movie I had, "Night at the Museum."
After a bit, she started feeling me up and kissing me on my neck. I panicked, hoping my fidelity was no longer ruined, and excused myself to the bathroom. In there, I did the only thing I could think of. We couldn't have sex if I was unable to. Genius idea.
(I'm about to talk about my penis for a sec, so if you don't want to read about it, skip this paragraph but the story will be lost if you do)
I reached down into my pants and, using my middle finger, I pushed the tip of my dick into itself (like all bored guys have done sometime in their adolescents) and using my snug jeans, kept in in place. It wasn't all the way tucked in, only half way but seeing as how I'm circumcised, it was difficult to keep it in place.
Walking out, I saw she had taken off her clothes and was completely naked on my bed, which seemed to strain at her weight. If anything, I did this to spare my bed a crushing fate. I gave her a worried and sad look and said, "I can't do this."
"What do you mean you can't? You're hot and I'm ready to fuck, what else is there?" she gasped. I'm sure she thought it had something to do with her weight and I felt sorry for her. I didn't want to destroy her self confidence but I wasn't going to cheat on Grace.
"I...I'm a eunuch." I sold it so well I should've gotten an Oscar.
"You're joking."
"I wish I was, look it's really embarrassing ok, I like you and you're hot (lie) but I just can't have sex. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell the guys. Please tell them we had sex, you can even say it was bad and I was terrible, I just really can't do it."
"It's alright, please can we just ignore it? I'm sorry but we're not doing anything tonight."
I sold it so well that she lied to her friend and told them that we fucked and I was fantastic. She felt sorry for me and I knew that my plan succeeded. I took some heat for it but I didn't break my promise to my long-distance woman. I immediately called Garrett, my best friend and told him. He laughed and complemented me on my diversion.
I didn't tell the Red Patchers this because I knew they would only think I was lying about fucking a fatty, but I think this story is more embarrassing than going hogging, which all men have. I never broke my fidelity and now have this story to write on this blog. I hope you've enjoyed it.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Aron Ralston is the biggest dumbass ever. Fact.
I'm really tired of this giant douche bag getting recognized as a hero. He shouldn't get a movie and he shouldn't receive anything other than people berating his stupidity. Allow me to paraphrase his story.
Aron is a climber. So he's in shape, done a lot of these adventurous things before and is not a newbie to the climbing/hiking world. He's even a super smart guy as he went to Carnegie Melon for Engineering.
Aron climbs some mountains and while on a quest for personal growth or whatever decides, in all better judgement, that he should travel alone. He plays poker and pulls out a pair of 3's while the fates rape him in the arm with a full house in the form of a boulder. He falls down a crevasse(I still wish I could say that like Bear Grylls) and his arm gets pinned literally between a rock and a hard place. Days go bye and he has to cut off said arm, some more stuff happens and then he is rescued.
Let me crack an egg of knowledge all over you with some guidelines of adventuring.
1. Plan where you are going. (Break out a $4.00 topo map and plan your trip)
2. Tell someone where you are going, and when you are planning on being back. (ie. “We’ll be taking this trail into this basin. Don’t plan on us being back until Sunday afternoon.”)
3. Dress and pack for conditions.
4. Never hike alone. (Hey Aron… ever hear of the buddy system?)
5. Be prepared. (did you pack everything you need… Like a buddy?)
I know a little about survival, the desert school in MCAGCC 29 Palms wasn't easy. There are some rules you don't mess around with. The buddy system is one of them as well as not letting anyone know where you're going.
People everywhere loved his book about the event and his story of survival was lauded as a great triumph of the human spirit. Let me get this straight. This guy breaks a rule and through his stupidity and arrogance of action, gets what he deserves and people love him for it? My mind is full of F*** on this. Surely his PR people and Oprah couldn't be that powerful to hide this fact. You lost an arm, Aron, because you were an idiot. You're making money off of it because America is full of idiots. Maybe I should change the title to Aron Ralston is a genius. He even got James Franco to play him in a movie.
Some people say that he's a bamf because he cut off his arm where others would just die. He took a bad situation and came through victorious. Let me put it into perspective. Tonight, I was making some rice with my steak and potatoes. I got the water boiling with the mixers and realized I made a mistake. I forgot to buy butter at the store so I was out. Oh no, what would I do? I used my quick thinking and wit, pulled out the Vegetable Oil I had and used that. Wow, I should write about it. This is obviously not in the same league as losing an arm, however the argument that he was superhuman is diminutive to everyone else. I'm almost positive that once survival instincts kick in, almost everyone in my circle of friends would have done the same thing to survive. Tupac said it best.
"Niggas gotta do..."
Perhaps he didn't say that and I was just waxing philosophical.
Aron is a climber. So he's in shape, done a lot of these adventurous things before and is not a newbie to the climbing/hiking world. He's even a super smart guy as he went to Carnegie Melon for Engineering.
Aron climbs some mountains and while on a quest for personal growth or whatever decides, in all better judgement, that he should travel alone. He plays poker and pulls out a pair of 3's while the fates rape him in the arm with a full house in the form of a boulder. He falls down a crevasse(I still wish I could say that like Bear Grylls) and his arm gets pinned literally between a rock and a hard place. Days go bye and he has to cut off said arm, some more stuff happens and then he is rescued.
Let me crack an egg of knowledge all over you with some guidelines of adventuring.
1. Plan where you are going. (Break out a $4.00 topo map and plan your trip)
2. Tell someone where you are going, and when you are planning on being back. (ie. “We’ll be taking this trail into this basin. Don’t plan on us being back until Sunday afternoon.”)
3. Dress and pack for conditions.
4. Never hike alone. (Hey Aron… ever hear of the buddy system?)
5. Be prepared. (did you pack everything you need… Like a buddy?)
I know a little about survival, the desert school in MCAGCC 29 Palms wasn't easy. There are some rules you don't mess around with. The buddy system is one of them as well as not letting anyone know where you're going.
People everywhere loved his book about the event and his story of survival was lauded as a great triumph of the human spirit. Let me get this straight. This guy breaks a rule and through his stupidity and arrogance of action, gets what he deserves and people love him for it? My mind is full of F*** on this. Surely his PR people and Oprah couldn't be that powerful to hide this fact. You lost an arm, Aron, because you were an idiot. You're making money off of it because America is full of idiots. Maybe I should change the title to Aron Ralston is a genius. He even got James Franco to play him in a movie.
Some people say that he's a bamf because he cut off his arm where others would just die. He took a bad situation and came through victorious. Let me put it into perspective. Tonight, I was making some rice with my steak and potatoes. I got the water boiling with the mixers and realized I made a mistake. I forgot to buy butter at the store so I was out. Oh no, what would I do? I used my quick thinking and wit, pulled out the Vegetable Oil I had and used that. Wow, I should write about it. This is obviously not in the same league as losing an arm, however the argument that he was superhuman is diminutive to everyone else. I'm almost positive that once survival instincts kick in, almost everyone in my circle of friends would have done the same thing to survive. Tupac said it best.
"Niggas gotta do..."
Perhaps he didn't say that and I was just waxing philosophical.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Why I hate Juno
This is probably one of the most pretentious movies I have ever seen. It is just awful. I am even their demographic: Slightly hipster; geeky tendencies; I was young when I saw it and I think Ellen Page is kind of hot. But no, it failed.
The dialogue is what is considered a hilarious part to the whole movie. I found it insufferable. No one talks like that. It was filled with the prose of hindsight. “Man, I should’ve said _____ to her!” kinds of things. These lines were all that Ellen Page’s character spouted out of her annoying mouth. She wasn’t that great of an actress in this and neither was Michael “I play the same character” Cera. The little quirky things about the movie were so fake and so over the top that it was like they were trying too hard to be an “indie” movie. There were a few cameos from some of the Arrested Development cast but they all flopped. I get that the message of the movie was good, and it was marketable to younger girls and that’s probably a positive. But think about it. The entire time, I wanted to smack her in the mouth because she was just a bitch to everyone. And she was a slut. Slutty bitches aren’t well received in society for good reason. Pregnancy isn’t enough of an excuse. I was laughing at everything wrong that happened to her. I felt like they marketed the indie scene a little too intensely and that wore off quick. Yeah she had a burger phone, which was kind of funny. But I’ve seen stuff like that already, like 5 years ago.
The movie was generic and didn’t impress me. It was hardly mentionable as a cult classic. The only really good thing about it was Jennifer Garner upstaging everyone with her acting, that song that was sung by the parents was kind of good, and the fact that it was short enough was good. I’d have given Juno a razzie if I could’ve.
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