Saturday, May 28, 2011

The band that was Phantastic.

    I just came from the Palo Verde Lounge in Tempe, AZ. Most Phoenicians don't even know what the fuck this place is about. It was about 700 Square Feet of dive bar with booger covered brick walls. The bathrooms rival Yamhill Pub's bathrooms back home in Portland. If you've been there, you'll totally get it. Thank god I stand up to piss.
    I was there to see an old friend I served with. He also happened to be in a band called WolphPac [sic]. They're a mix of Lonely Island, old Beastie Boys and a very small dose of 36 Chambers-Wu-Tang. They were hilariously endearing. I can't think of a better adjective and that's not really a bad thing.
I'm not going to talk about the other two bands. The headliners, "Level T" were just awful. Female Trouble was alright but I felt like I was blasted in the face with Feminism and it wasn't my thing. Tampon rock isn't my thing.
    They started the show with one heckler. A bearded (ginger, so you can see my affinity) ghost-buster-jumpsuit wearing man told his to "shut the fuck up in 12 seconds or I'm going to hit him in the face." The heckler didn't shut up until about 3 measures into the first song and the small bar was phanatical about WolphPac. You could tell three things from the first song: They were as diverse looking as possible for a band (guitarist looked like a sex pistol, the drummer looked like he was from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, the bassist looked like he wore Dragonball Z shirts in high school); they knew exactly what they were doing on stage; they were having a ton of fun.
    I've seen about a million shows and bands that have failed and a few (mainly from my youth) that have made it big. I am positive that WolphPac has very little to work on. Their songs were named after odd things that made you want to hear much more. "Blown Out Clit" "Jesus was a Gangbanger" "Dirty Masturbater"
    The songs were catchy, well written and everyone really liked them. The guitarist was extremely energetic despite wearing a thick rubber mask in the 90 degree bar, and the three vocalists sweated more than I do in heavy activity. The Keyboardist was the most popular and the most comic. He was offering a special edition band T-Shirt to the first girl to blow him. Trust me, it was put in a way that made you laugh and not be grossed out.
    They really outperformed everyone else tonight. They may not have a lot of combined experience but they really felt together. That tiny corner converted to a stage was everything to the band. WolphPac, if they so choose, will be a major presence in the Tempe music scene. They're really funny, talented and mesh fantastically as a group. They really knew how to bring it, and as the bearded day-walker mentioned, "We fucking killed it tonight!"
    If it takes still more to convince you of any other awesome tribute, they encored with "Saria's Song" from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Baller.

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